Deep thoughts late at night

Had a conversation the other night that has me thinking deeply about life in general. I have the moments when i look at my life, and realize it is less that i want it to be. I sense i have missed something fundamental about life. The conversation i had was about how all people desire community, to be a part of something bigger, but shy away from it from fear of being rejected by it. We talked about how so many people are lonely, but the risk seems to outway the reward, and the keep isolated.

It is such an American thing to let entertainment soothe the ache of loneliness. I see it with myself; there are nights i would choose to watch a good movie, or TV show, rather than spend time letting someone truly know who i am. You get all the positives of relationship; you laugh sometimes, the excitement of a good story. Don't get me wrong; i am not dissing movies or TV, i just think it takes an unhealthy role in our (my) life sometimes. I realize that i have to be entertained ALL THE TIME! I crave it, and when i spend any time alone in quiet, it feels unnatural. I hurry up to find something else to do/watch, so i don't have to hear myself think, and actually analyze my life; who i am becoming, where my life is leading, what my dreams are, my interests, artistic expression. I don't know; it just shouldn't suprise me that i wake up to find myself boring, and at times feel like there is not much i have to give.

"Do not be decieved, God is not mocked. You reap what you sow...if you sow to the flesh, from the flesh you will reap death, but if you sow to the spirit, you will reap life"...I did not look it up, so this might not be verbatim, but all this i've been thinking about reminded me of this verse. I want to be part of a community of people who love each other, and live life together, but it will not happen if I am spending my alone time increasing my skill level on Halo 3, or watching a whole season of "The Office" (yes i have, in one sitting). I want to sow the seeds of community and relationship; and i want to risk being knowned and not loved, for the reward of being knowned and loved. I want to reach out to people who can't help themselves out of the destructive ruts life tends to bring...I don't know; it's late and i am being idealistic...I guess i just want more from life than i am experiencing now. I want to "find that which is life indeed".

Kelly D.

Another one bites the dust (a.k.a. mossy train's last ride)

Matt, Aaron and Lindsay at Comer's Wedding, originally uploaded by kellydavisgt.

Mossy Train and Company, originally uploaded by kellydavisgt.

So Hugh Moss Comer Train III is off the market. Congratulations Comer and Lauren. It is surreal sometimes to see your friends getting married, having kids, and all that. Life seems to go by to fast; and it is cool how the things enjoy remembering the most are just being stupid together, wasting time, the late night conversations. Life continues to change, and it is it's nature to do so; so I dare not waste time wishing for things to be "like they were", but instead i try to trust God to bring cool new things that i will remember with fondness in the future. I have been blessed with awesome friends, awesome 3109 roommates, that will no doubt be lifetime friends.

Next up, Aaron Taulbee; for all the ragging you have given every friend who has gone down before you...."Whoooopssssh" (sound of being wooped). I have more where that came from...

Cold Morning on the Farm

Morning Branch, originally uploaded by kellydavisgt.

My grandmother, Mastine, passed away last thursday. It came quickly, and without warning. She was 78, and had been married 58 years to Big D. The last time i saw her was Christmas. We got to her house late one night, and i hugged her neck, and went right to bed. The next morning, i woke up to her laugh. I walked downstairs, and she was sitting at the kitchen table with Dad and Big D. This was a familiar scene from my childhood. I remember walking down the stairs, and opening the door to see Mom, Dad, Mastine and Big D drinking coffee, conversing, and most of all, laughing. Mastine's laugh, as many mentioned at the visitation, was one of her defining qualities. Her laugh was amazing. It made you feel welcome, and invited you to join in. I cannot remember the particulars of what we talked about that morning, but i remember her laugh, and i remember that we sat and talked for what seemed like forever. We would talk for a while, and then someone would walk in sleepy-eyed. It is a sweet memory, and I thank God for the gift. How empty the kitchen seemed the morning I walked down those same stairs after her death. It is so strange to think that her spirit is somewhere so different. It makes me long to be with her, with Jesus; but then i think about my wife, about Kelly Davis Jr (I am trying to convince Misty on this name), and about how God is calling me to plant seeds for those who don't even know to seek, I realize the words of Paul, "To live is Christ, To Die is Gain". It scares me to think of loving Misty for 58 years, and to wake up one morning alone. But i realize, for those who lean on Christ, that he will never leave or forsake us, and that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ; neither life, nor death.